The Day The Nintendo Cartoons Went Crazy
by Nintendo Maximus
Summary: Mario fighting Ganon? Misty chopping Haruka with a chainsaw? The NTeam accusing Donkey Kong of evil things? Kirby swallowing Jigglypuff? It all happens when the stars of the Nintendo cartoons lose all their sanity!


**Disclaimer:** I'm afraid I must not tell anybody that I own anything here. No no, I must tell nobody... No, I must tell everybody... that I own them, not. Ahem. No one in this fanfic is owned by me. Except Mayor Rainbow. He _is _owned by me.

**Author's Note:** Helloooooo! As I was working on my other fanfics, I thought up this one. It's based on how inane the overused storylines in the Nintendo cartoons could get. And it shows what happens when one of the characters decides he's had enough of doing the same thing every episode. Be warned, as this fic may get rather silly. Or not.

* * *

King Bowser Koopa looked at the remains of the Rainbot. The weapon he had used to wreak havoc on the colorful city of Rainbowland. Now it was just a burnt pile of nuts and bolts. Mouser, Tryclyde, and Koopa Troopa lay in a defeated heap in the western end of the room. Once again, the Super Mario Bros. had foiled Bowser's evil plans!  
"Koopa Kurses!" the Koopa King cursed. "You pizza-eaters have stopped my plans for the umpteenth time!"  
"Well, what did you expect?" Mario Mario said, chucking a fireball in his left hand. "We never forget to do that!"  
Bowser reached into his shell. "Well, don't forget this," he said, pulling out a Sub-Space potion. "He who Koops and runs away..."  
"Is nuttin' but a big wimp?" Toad interrupted.  
"NO!" Bowser shouted. "He who Koops and runs away, lives to Koop another day!" He tossed the Sub-Space potion over to the northern wall of the Rainbowland City Hall office. The flask evaporated into a purple cloud of smoke, and a portal door appeared right where the vial vanished.  
Princess Peach Toadstool pointed a finger at the escape warp. "He's escaping into a warp zone!"  
"That's what he thinks!" Luigi cried.  
Bowser ran over to the warp door and opened it up. He was about to rush through it when he suddenly felt a tug on his back. He turned around and saw Luigi, Peach, and Toad keeping a tight grip on his back.  
"Get your cherry-grabbing fingers off of my feet!" Bowser yelled.  
"Dey're not on yer stinky feet, ya foot-obsessed tyrant!" Toad yelled back.  
Bowser tried to shake the trio off of his back, but couldn't. Finally, he had no choice but to dash through the warp door with the three of them still on him. So he did.  
Mario watched as the warp door disappeared with another puff of smoke. "Suffering spaghetti! Koopa's escaped into a warp zone - and he's taken Luigi, the Princess, and Toad with him! The people of Rainbowland may not have to worry about him raining on their parade anymore, but I'll have to find where Koopa's escaped!"  
Just then, the Mayor of Rainbowland walked in through the door on the southern end of the office. Mayor Rainbow looked as though he were related to Mayor Fettucini of Pastaland and Mayor Cheese of the Swiss Cheese Alps. To be more exact, he looked as though he was their second cousin on their mother's side.  
"Well done, Mr. Mario," Mayor Rainbow congratulated, in his tobacco-addicted voice. "Rainbowland is free of King Koopa's clutches. But I think you should've just let him escape through that warp zone. Had your friends not bothered going after him, they would have been safe with you right now."  
Mario slapped the stupid official to the other side of the room. "Forget it!" he complained. "I'm rather glad this plot twist occured! Every day Peach drags us to some crappy land with a dumb name, claiming that we're 'in search of help against Koopa'. And every day we find out that Bowser's already taken over the land. And every day we get into a big fight with Bowser which eventually results in him escaping into a warp zone before we can arrest him. Why must Peach take us out of our warm beds to find some idiotic blockhead with strange powers? Why can't she free her people from Bowser's clutches herself? What does Bowser find so rewarding about the crappy kingdoms he takes over? Why do we just stand around not doing anything about him escaping into these warp zones? And why... am I talking to myself?"  
Just then, the eastern wall of the office blew up, taking Mayor Rainbow with it. A tank drove through the hole it had made in the wall. The hatch opened up, and Ganon arose on top of the tank.  
"I suppose you have money in the bank," Ganon said, as if in answer to Mario's last question. "Now, what is your name, little man?"  
"I'm Mario Mario. Who the hell are you?" Mario asked.  
Ganon conjured up a fireball in his right hand. "You would be foolish to not know my name! I am Ganon, the King of Eeeeeeeeevil, direct from Death Mountain! And once I steal the Triforce of Wisdom, I will rule Hyrule FOREVER! But first, I'm gonna show you how my home mountain got its name!"  
The King of Evil threw the fireball in Mario's direction. But the plumber was quick (or lucky) enough to dodge it. The fireball hit the western wall, so now it had a hole too. Mario got behind the new hole and threw a fireball, but the pig formerly known as Ganondorf Dragmire disappeared before it could hit him.  
"Where did he go?" Mario asked, talking to no one in particular.  
As if in answer, a feminine voice called from above. "Forget about him, it's time you prepared for trouble!"  
A masculine voice accompanied the other one. "And while you're at it, you should make it double!"  
Mario looked up through the huge hole that was the roof of Rainbowland City Hall and saw Team Rocket in their hot-air balloon.  
"To protect the world from devastation!"  
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"  
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"  
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"  
"_Jessie!_"  
"_James!_"  
"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"  
"Surrender now or prepare to fight-fight-fight!"  
"_Meowth!_ Dat's right!" Meowth chimed in. "All right, plumber-boy, tell us how we can capture a Pikachu!"  
"Oh no!" Mario crossed his arms. "I'm not helping you capture Princess Peach! She has enough trouble with Bowser kidnapping her; the last thing I need is another villain out to get her."  
"You idiot!" Meowth pointed his claws down. "I didn't say 'a Peach'! I said 'a Pikachu'!"  
As Meowth was yelling, Jessie's Wobbuffet came out of his Pokéball. "_WAAAAABBA!_" he cried.  
"He didn't mean you!" Jessie yelled, recalling the wayward Pokémon.  
"Oh," Mario said when Meowth corrected him. "Well, I'm still not helping you!"  
Suddenly, a sword-shaped beam hit Team Rocket's balloon, popping it. The deflating balloon spun off into the distance, taking the three gangsters with it.  
"LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OFF BEFORE THEY COULD DO ANYTHIIIIIIINNNG!!!" Team Rocket screamed as they disappeared from sight.  
Link, who had fired the shot that popped Team Rocket's balloon, shook his head. "That'll teach them to quit while their balloon's got a head!"  
Ganon reappeared on top of his tank. "Ahh, it seems my old friend Link has decided to become a part of my killing spree."  
"No way, Ganon!" Link pointed the Master Sword at the evil wizard. "I'm here to stop you from taking the Triforce, therefore saving Hyrule again..." He clenched his fist at this point. "...And perhaps getting Zelda to kiss me for once!"  
Mario looked at Link. "Uh, shouldn't I help you?"  
"No," Link addressed him. "This is man's work."  
Link rushed at Ganon and attempted to slash him, but to no avail. The pig teleported around the room every time Link got near him.  
"See what I mean?" Mario said as Link started panting.  
"All right," Link agreed. "We'll work together!"  
Mario readied up some fireballs, and Link readied up a bolt from the Master Sword. Both of them let loose their firepower at Ganon at the same time. The fireball and the sword beam hit the pig, weakening him.  
"It seems I've underestimated you," Ganon wheezed. "But nevertheless, I shall return, more powerful than before!" The pig formerly named Ganondorf vanished again, this time taking his tank with him.  
"You sure fight some weird villains," Mario said to Link.  
"You think he's weird?" Link said. "You should see this kid with the strange mask."  
Just then, a whistle sounded, and Mario heard the Flintstones theme music start playing. With a Yabba-Dabba-Doo, he jumped out of Rainbowland City Hall and into his conveniently parked go-kart. He turned the ignition key, and the car zoomed off.  
"Mario! Mario Mario! He's the greatest mascot in history!" Mario sang. "From the... Mushroom Kingdom! He's about to hit a Whispy tree!"  
He was right. The go-kart crashed right into a Whispy Woods tree. Mario got out and looked at the wreck when Link ran up.  
"Something wrong?" he asked.  
"Yeah," Mario answered. "I just crashed my car into a Whispy Woods tree. Didn't you hear my song?"  
Just then, Jigglypuff showed up and began to sing her song. "Jiig-uh-lee-puff, jig-uh-leeee-eeee-puff..."  
Mario and Link fell asleep. When Jigglypuff finished singing, she looked at her two victims, then puffed herself up angrilly. She took the cap off her microphone/marker and began to draw on their faces. Suddenly, Kirby came in and inhaled the balloonlike Pokémon, with his heroic music trailing him. He then jumped up and grew Jigglypuff's ears.  
Meta Knight watched from above in the Whispy tree, accompanied by Sword and Blade. "He has become... Jigglypuff Kirby!" Meta Knight exclaimed.  
"Is that any different from Microphone Kirby?" asked Sword Knight.  
Kirby took out a microphone/marker, and began singing his own sleep-inducing song. "Kuh-irrrrr-irrrr-beeeee, kiiirrrr-beeeee-eeeee-eee..."  
Mario and Link had just woken up when Kirby started singing. So needless to say, they didn't want to fall asleep again. But that's what they did. So did Sword and Blade. When Kirby finished singing, he got angry, puffed up, and drew on everyone, except Meta Knight, since he hadn't fallen asleep. (And besides, he was wearing his mask.)  
At that point, Team Rocket's balloon crashed right on top of the Whispy tree, knocking down Kirby, Meta Knight, Sword, and Blade.  
"I've had it wit' dis!" Meowth griped. "Every day we bust da hell outta our butts tryin' to do what da hell da Boss wants us t'do, and every day dose brats fry us before we can accomplish our mission! And what da hell does da Boss want wit' Pikachu anyway? I don't see anyting rare about it!"  
Just then, a blinding light forced them to cover their eyes. Giovanni appeared above them, flying in the Koopa Clown Car and shining a flashlight on them.  
"You're getting me that Pikachu," Giovanni said, "because I told you to. Now do it, or I'll fit you with cement underpants, capisce? You understand?"  
"Everything except 'capisce'," James answered.  
"Good. Now do it. The sooner you get me that Pikachu, THE SOONER I CAN FIRE YOU ALL!!!" Giovanni did a double take as Jessie and James looked at him. "I mean, the sooner I can make a fireplace for you all." He turned around to face the other direction, then faced his incompetent balloon-travelling buffoons again. "Shhh! Here they come!"  
Giovanni drove the Clown Car out of sight as thirteen-year-old Ashton Ketchum and Pikachu walked down the dirt road below. They were joined by Brock Slate from Pewter City, and Shithead--I mean, Haruka, the boyfriend stealer who just happened to be the heroine for _Pokémon Ruby_ and _Sapphire_, and her little brother Masuto.  
Jessie and James were just about to ambush the twerps when they suddenly heard the sound effects of bushes rustling and a chainsaw starting up.  
"Get down!" Meowth shouted, and he and his two pals did so.  
The kids were walking past the Whispy tree, and Ash wasn't at all happy. _Aaaah, this sucks!_ he thought. _I wish Misty's sisters had never decided to go on that world tour. Then Misty wouldn't have left, and I wouldn't be stuck with Haruka right now._  
"Something wrong, Ash?" Brock asked.  
"No," Ash lied.  
Suddenly, Misty Waterflower lept out of the nearby bush, screaming like a maniac. Using King Dedede's laser-saw, she chopped Haruka in half. Blood flew everywhere but landed on nothing, as expected.  
"AAAAAAH!!" Masuto whined. "Oh my god! You killed my big sister! You bastard!"  
"AAAAAAH!!" Brock yelled in unison. "She was gonna be MY girlfriend!"  
"Misty, what are you doing here?" Ash blinked. "I thought you were hosting that Pokemon radio station."  
"Money isn't everything," Misty said, tossing the laser-saw away.  
"Misty, why did you do what you just did?" Ash still couldn't believe it.  
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... I love a good murder mystery?" she said hopefully.  
"Oh, come on! What's the _real _reason?"  
_Where have I heard this conversation before?_ Brock thought.  
Misty waved her arms in frustration. "Well, let's just say maybe I don't hate you as much as I thought, okay? I guess I probably like you a little. Hell, I could say I like you a lot! That's why I just killed Haruka."  
"You did this for _me?_" Ash answered hesitantly.  
Misty kicked the bottom half of Haruka's corpse. "That's right, Pika-boy! I mean, criminy! What else can you do when you miss the one you love?" she scowled furiously.  
"_Love?_" Ash asked incredulously.  
"You heard me, pal!" Misty confessed. "I LOVE YOU! I've always loved you, Ash! Ever since I laid eyes on how you cared for that stupid Caterpie! From that moment and every moment since, I've lived and breathed for you, dreamed of the moment I could finally tell you my secret feelings and could grab you and kiss you and-OH! Come here you big lug!" And she kissed him.  
When Ash broke out of Misty's grip, he was shocked, but not from Pikachu as he would expect to be. "Waaaaa!" he yelled, dazed (although also happy from Misty's kiss). "This is happening too fast. I need to go lie down."  
"Good! I'll go with you!"  
Suddenly, the answer to his question hit Brock like a sixteen-and-a-half-ton anvil. "Now I know where I've seen this before!" he said to Masuto, as he tried to describe it. "It was this movie I saw once. There's these two kids trying to save their city or something from this... um... dictator or someone who's saying he's Nostradamas. And there was this girl who goes around acting like she's on the bad guy's side. And then she went about making phone calls to the good guys and, aahh, telling them how to find this piece of paper that's supposed to prevent the dictator from tearing the city down, I guess. Then one of the kids unmasks this girl on top of the bad guy's hideout, and then she put up this big mushy confession like Misty just did. And this boy she was secretly in love with had a head shaped like a ball and looked like he was wearing a skirt! Oh yeah, and there's an old lady trying to escape from jail by traveling through a toilet."  
While Brock was talking, Jessie called out from above to Ash and Misty. "Hey! Now that you're starting a relationship, prepare for trouble!"  
"Yes," James added. "And since you're also going to go lie down, make it double!"  
"To protect romantic stories from devastation!"  
"To unite all lovers within our nation!"  
"To see the beauty of truth and love!"  
"To send love testers to the stars above!"  
"_Jessie!_"  
"_James!_"  
"Team Rocket blasts off with a hug and a kiss!"  
"Find your true love now or you'll miss-miss-miss!"  
"_Meowth!_ Dat's romantic!" the cat chimed, dressed like Cupid. "All right, head twoip! Yer gonna give us yer Pikachu or we're gonna steal yer girlfriend!"  
Just then, Cranky Kong popped up from under the sleeping Mario and Link. "Will you three shut up! I'm trying to get some sleep here!"  
"What?!" Masuto was confused. "My sister gets murdered, and now an old ape yells at us? Has the whole Pokémon World gone topsy-turvy?"  
Cranky bopped Jessie and James with his cane. "I'll send all of you topsy-turvy if you don't let me get some shut-eye!" Then Meowth attempted to Fury Swipe the aging monkey, but Cranky bopped him with his cane.  
Suddenly, a chubby man entered. He was dressed like all of the uncommon male police officers in Kanto.  
"This forest is surrounded," he said. "I'm afraid I must not ask anyone to leave the area. No, I must ask nobody... no, I must ask everybody to... I must not ask anyone to leave the a... No one must be asked by me to leave the area. No, no one must ask the area to leave I. I ask the area shall by someone be left. Not. Ask nobody the area somebody leave shall I. Shall I leave the area? Everyone must leave the area... as it is... with them in it. Phew. Understand?"  
"Uh, you don't want anyone to leave this part of the forest," James answered.  
"Good," said the officer. "Now, alduce me to introlow myself. I'm sorry. Alself me to myduce introlow myself. Introme to-lose mlow alself. Alme to you introself mylowduce. Excuse me a moment." At this point, he banged himself on the side of the head, then continued. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm afraid I must ask that no one leave the area. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Inspector Earl of Jenny Yard."  
"EARL?!" Ash, Misty, Brock, Masuto, Jessie, James, and Meowth all said in unison.  
"Whaddaya doin' here?!" Meowth shouted. "You weren't in any Nintendo cartoons!"  
"Elementary," answered Inspector Earl. "Since the body was found in this part of the forest, and no one has left it, therefore... the murderer must be somebody in this area."  
"You mean this?" Brock pointed to Haruka's rotting corpse.  
"Aha! The body." Earl looked at the remains of Haruka. "So... somebody. In this area. Must the murderer be."  
Misty pointed to Team Rocket, who happened to be standing where she kicked the laser-saw. "It was them!"  
"What?!" Meowth yelled, flabbergasted. "You wet brat! You can't go about pinnin' crimes on us!"  
Earl ignored them. "The murderer of the body is somebody in this area, which nobody must leave... leave the body in the area not to be left by anybody. Nobody leaves anybody or the body with somebody. Everybody who is anybody shall leave the body in the areabody." At this point in his speech, he stopped and said to himself, "Take the tablets, Earl." As he searched for his tablets, he said to everyone, "Anybody with a body but not _the_ body is nobody. Nobody leaves the body in the..." Here, he took a medicine tablet. "Albody me to introbody albodyduce..."  
But before the English-impaired Earl could finish his speech, Kirby (who had spat out Jigglypuff) came up behind him and inhaled him. He then jumped up into the air and was suddenly wearing Earl's hat and badge.  
Then, right after that happened, King Dedede and Escargoon came in. They were walking backwards, as they were being shouted at by Tiff.  
"Look, Ah keep teelin 'ya, girlie, Ah didn't do it!" King Dedede yelled.  
"Admit it!" Tiff urged. "You're the one who turned Kirby into a cannibal!"  
"Listen, ya little brat," Escargoon stood up. "Just 'cause we nearly made everyone in Cappy Town eat Kirby, doesn't mean we're making Kirby eat everyone in Cappy Town! Why do you always have to accuse us of every kitten stuck up a tree on Popstar?"  
"'Cause the two of you are nothing but double trouble!" Tiff shouted and pointed.  
"Not so fast!" Jessie interrupted. "You should prepare for more trouble from us than them!"  
"Yeah!" James added. "And you'll have to make it double, you snub-faced sim!"  
"To protect the world from devastation!"  
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"  
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"  
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"  
"_Jessie!_"  
"_James!_"  
"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"  
"Surrender now or prepare to fight-fight-fight!"  
"_Meowth!_ Dat's right!" Meowth chimed in.  
Then Kirby walked around them, acting like Inspector Earl. "Nobody leave the area I shall. Somebody I leave nobody in the area body shall... Take the tablets, Earlbody."  
"What is up with him?" Tiff asked.  
Meta Knight reappeared on top of the Whispy tree. "He has swallowed Inspector Earl and become... Earl Kirby!"  
Tiff turned back to the penguin and the snail. "See?! Kirby's eating people now!"  
"But how can this be our fault?" Dedede questioned. "We haven't ordered any Nightmare Monsters this week!"  
"Well then, you must've tricked him!"  
"No we didn't!" Escargoon shouted. "We would've had to make him angry first!"  
"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP!!" Masuto screamed. "The case here is that that bad woman murdered my sister! And now she got away!"  
It was true. Misty had left the area. And Ash and Brock had gone with her.  
"Well, don't just stand there!" Masuto continued screaming. "Let's go get that perverted bitch!"  
"I don't like your tone of voice," said Tiff.  
Suddenly, an arrow came from behind and impaled Masuto on the back. He dropped dead, landing right on the remains of his big sister.  
"Who shot that arrow?" Escargoon asked.  
As if in answer, Tuff jumped out from behind the tree. He was carrying a bow, and a pouch full of arrows hung on his back.  
"I shot that arrow!" Tuff shot out a shout. "For I am... the mighty Yaban!"  
"See, see?!" Tiff yelled at Dedede and Escargoon. "It _is_ your fault Kirby's become a cannibal and Tuff thinks he's an archer!"  
"It is not!" Escargoon screamed. "If it were, I wouldn't have been so surprised about that kid being pierced by that arrow!"  
Jessie pointed her gloved finger at Tiff. "Why aren't you preparing for trouble?!"  
James stood next to her. "Yeah, we wasted a lot of time saying that motto!"  
"And you're wasting too much time right now!" Giovanni barked from above, still in the Koopa Clown Car. "Jessie! James! Why haven't you gotten that Pikachu yet?!"  
"It's very clear, Boss," Meowth explained. "First, de old goil came out and killed da new one, den said she loved Pikachu's trainer. Den we jumped out and said our motto, but we were suddenly attacked by dis old monkey! Den an inspector entered da room and tried t'tell us not t'leave it, but he was suddenly swallowed by dis pink t'ing and now _dis_ crazy goil is pointing fingers at a penguin and a snail!"  
"Oh, sod the explanation!" Giovanni swore. "I shall teleport all of us to where the victims have headed."  
In an instant, everyone in that particular area of the forest were instantly transported to another part of Dream Land. Mario and Link were still fast asleep, Cranky was still angry, Tiff was still falsely accusing Dedede and Escargoon, and Kirby was still walking around talking in Earl-speak. The only ones who weren't transported were the dead bodies of Haruka and Masuto.  
"Now......" Giovanni commanded his three incompetents, "DON'T MESS UP THIS TIME!!"  
He drove the Clown Car out of sight just as Ash, Misty, and Brock were coming in. The three of them were quite surprised to see everyone they had just left suddenly in front of them again!  
"Aaaah!" Ash yelled. "What are you doing here?"  
"I could ask all of you what you're doing here!" a nasally voice sounded from behind.  
Gary Oak's car drove up in front of all of them.  
"What are you doing here, Gary?" asked Ash. "I thought you gave up Pokémon training!"  
The snobby trainer cackled. "I didn't! I'm the new owner of the Virdian City Gym!"  
"Listen kid," Jessie shouted in Gary's general direction, "what you are is nothing but trouble!"  
"Yes," James shouted along. "And if your badness were gold, it'd be worth 50 million doubled!"  
"To protect the world from devastation!"  
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"  
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"  
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"  
"_Jessie!_"  
"_James!_"  
"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"  
"Surrender now or prepare to fight-fight-fight!"  
"_Meowth!_ Dat's right!" Meowth chimed in. "Ho man, dat's da fourth motto we've said today! How many times we gotta do dis?!"  
"Well!" Gary said, puffing his nose. "I certainly didn't expect a kind of Rocket Inquisition!"  
Suddenly, a jarring chord sounded, and in came Butch, Cassidy, and Dr. Namba, all wearing red robes.  
"**_NOBODY_**_ expects _the _Rocket Inquisition_!" Namba proclaimed. "Our chief weapon is surprise! Surprise and fear, fear and surprise... our TWO weapons... are fear and surprise! And ruthless efficiency! And an almost fanatical devotion to the Boss! And nice red uniforms... Oh damn."  
"What are you two doing here?" James yelled, pointing at Butch and Cassidy.  
"After being blasted off with us by that Lugia, we thought you were dead!" Jessie shouted.  
"Well, why would you expect that?" Butch taunted. "The two of you blasted off a million times and never died from it, so I don't see any reason for _us_ to die from it!"  
"Yes, but nobody on the Pokémon fan community cared if you had survived or not!"  
"Maybe they were just confident that we weren't killed," Cassidy taunted.  
Jessie groaned. "Ohhhhhhh, you make me sick, you weed!"  
Suddenly, General Klump walked up between the dueling Rockets. He tried to reason between them, but it wasn't working. Finally, he screamed at the top of his lungs: "**STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!**"  
The two Rocket duos quit arguing and listened to Klump.  
"What kinda teammates are you?" the Kremling general said. "Why, it's no wonder you never accomplish any of yo' assignments! You just argue and badmouth each other every time you cross paths! I'll bet if ya worked together, maybe you'd accomplish somethin'!"  
His speech sank right through to Jessie, James, Cassidy, and Butch. Instantly, the four Rockets put aside their differences and apologized for all the nasty things they had said to each other.  
Just then, Giovanni hovered the Clown Car down and looked at his minions. "Loser Division! Rocket Inquisition! What the hell are you all doing?!"  
"We made up, Boss!" James said. "Butch and Cassidy are our friends now."  
"Nitwits!" Giovanni called them, pulling his hair. "That last motto and the alligator's speech has put you all behind schedule! Get Pikachu before I decide to kill all you bastards!"  
"Let me handle this!" Namba shouted. But he was suddenly stomped on by Mario, who had been awoken by Klump's scream.  
"Nice try, Namba," Mario said, "but no... uh, Koopa Kola?"  
"What kind of taunt is that?!" Namba criticized.  
"Don't look at me," Mario complained, "we're stuck in the guidelines for a kid's show."  
"_BANANA-SLAMMA!!!_" Donkey Kong made a leap down into the scene, and walked toward Klump. "All right, you fat Kremling lump, this is it! Where's K. Rool hidden the Coconut?"  
"What coconut?" Klump asked.  
"You know which coconut! The Crystal Coconut! Where is it? C'mon. Remember what happened to Kasplat."  
"What happened to Kasplat?" Tuff asked from afar.  
"Chunky Kong gave him a bad toothache," Klump told the sprout.  
Suddenly, the N-Team rushed in.  
"Drop your fists, Donkey Kong!" Kevin Keene called.  
"Oh no!" DK backed away, going with Klump. "It's the N-Team!"  
"What do they have against you?" Klump asked.  
"They're from the old days that Cranky's always rambling about," DK explained. "They think I'm a bad guy for what he did in Brooklyn."  
"What'd he do?"  
"Kidnapped Mario's niece. But that's only 'cause we Kongs idolize King Kong!"  
"Pauline was Mario's niece? I thought she was his girlfriend, considerin' that Luigi ain't married..."  
Kirby walked around them. "Alself me to my duce introlow left body in the areaself."  
Giovanni hovered the Koopa Clown Car above the N-Team. "Drop the Zapper, Kevin."  
Kevin dropped his Zapper Light Gun.  
"IT'S THE BOSS OF TEAM ROCKET!!" everyone in the N-Team shouted.  
"Yes," Giovanni answered, "and because I'm so evil, you shall die the painful way. Persian, attack!"  
"Oh, please don't kill us just yet!" DK begged, as some music started to play. "Before we die, I'd like to... just... sing!"  
Giovanni got in front of him and killed the music. "Cut that out, cut that out! You're not gonna start singing while I'm here! None of you are gonna start singing while I'm here! There's only room for one person's songs in VideoLand - _mine!_ I've written a wonderful inspirational song that illustrates my evil genius! And I want you to hear it! Listen!" He started singing his own song. "I was born to rule the world..."  
Mega Man blasted his Mega Buster at the choppers on the Clown Car, knocking it down. "Oh no you mega-don't! You're not mega-singing about your mega-evil mega-plans!"  
Giovanni and his Persian climbed out of the Clown Car. "Do you always have to say 'mega'?" he asked. "And why do you sound like a chain smoker?"  
"You think that's annoying-icus?" Pit flew over him. "Just listenicus to _my_ speechus impedimus! I'm alwaysicus saying '-icus' after every thirdicus wordicus!"  
"Yeah!" Simon Belmont added. "And I don't even have a Romanian accent!"  
Mega Man clenched his fist. "And I'm colored green too! I wasn't _this_ off-model in _my_ own show!"  
"You're lucky," Simon said. "_I_ look like a World War I pilot instead of a vampire slayer!"  
Mega Man stormed around. "When I get my mega-hands on those people at DiC, they're gonna mega-be in a lot of mega-trouble!"  
Jessie and James jumped in front of him.  
"Not so fast!" Jessie yelled. "We're prepared for bad animation and its trouble!"  
James took out his rose. "We'll fix up the horrid drawings here on the double!"  
"To protect the world from bad animation!"  
"To unite all artists within every nation!"  
"To denounce the evils of shoddy paintings!"  
"To extend our reach into non-taintings!"  
"_Jessie!_"  
"_James!_"  
"Team Rocket, blast off with paper and pens!"  
"Surrender now, DiC, and fix your camera lens!"  
Meowth jumped in front of them. "_Meowth!_ Dat's artistic!"  
Misty walked up to them. "Are you three ever gonna get tired of saying mottos all day?"  
King Dedede advanced on her, carrying his mallet. "Say there, gorgeous! You lookin' for an emperor penguin for a husband? Ya got one raht heah! You refuse, and this mallet is gonna go where the sun don't shine!"  
Misty thwacked Dedede upside the head with her own mallet. "Forget it! I don't need to go looking for a husband!" she said, holding up her hand so everyone could see the sparkle on her engagement ring.  
Escargoon advanced on her. "What? You can't be serious about breaking the big lug's heart!"  
Misty smashed the snail with her mallet too. "I _am_ serious! Ash and I have been engaged for five minutes now."  
"Isn't _anyone_ going to let me sleep?!" Cranky yelled. He then advanced to the N-Team. "So you're the so-called heroes who have been causing nothing but trouble for us Kongs in Kongo Bongo?"  
"Uh, don't you mean Kongoland?" Kevin piped up.  
"I KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Cranky screamed. He swung his cane so hard that he knocked the N-Team away like golf balls.  
"LOOKS LIKE THE N-TEAM IS BLASTING OFF AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!" everyone in the N-Team screamed as they disappeared from sight with the "ding" sound effect.  
"And that's my only line!" Princess Lana wailed right before they disappeared.  
"All right, that does it!" Giovanni shouted. "If my men are going to goof around, I'll just have to grab that Pikachu myself."  
The Boss of Team Rocket walked over to where Ash and his pals were standing, but he was suddenly jumped on by Mario. Then Link zapped bolts from the Master Sword, taking out Giovanni's sleeves.  
"Now look what you did!" Giovanni yelled. "This was my best suit."  
Then two ominously shadowed characters appeared.  
"Prepare for trouble," the first one said, in a rather sticky voice. "This story isn't anywhere near its close!"  
"And make it double!" the second one said, in a deep voice. "It's a cross-over of video game cartoon shows!"  
"To protect Planet Zebes from devastation!"  
"To unite all X viruses within our nation!"  
"To denounce the goodness of heroic teams!"  
"To make clip shows everyone's worst dreams!"  
"_Eggplant Wizard!_"  
"_King Hippo!_"  
"The League of Darkness, circling Metroid all day and night!"  
"Surrender now, or... uh... you'll lose your bite?"  
"Oh, shit!" Cassidy yelled. "First Jessie and James rewrite the Team Rocket motto, now these guys?!"  
"Not to mention the fact that Michael Teitelbaum thinks _we_ rewrote the motto!" Butch added. "When I get my hands on him, I'll set his facts straight!"  
Eggplant Wizard started turning Giovanni into various vegetables.  
"Oh, now this isn't funny at all," the evil man said, as he was transformed into a banana.  
DK advanced on the banana-turned Giovanni. "Hey, you look delicious! Can I have a bite?"  
"Get away from me!" Giovanni barked.  
Then Mother Brain rolled up behind her two cronies. "Eggplant Wizard! You have as much brain power as the vegetable you're named after! Sheesh, what was I thinking hiring you two when I laid siege on the Palace of Power in the first place? You're just a leftover drone enemy and a boxer who isn't even evil! I should've just hired Bowser and Wart when I had the chance, but _nooooo_... Dr. Wily told me to let you join the League of Darkness! Well anyway, Eggplant Wizard, change Giovanni into a Mega-Giovanni!"  
"OK, OK," the Eggplant Wizard apologized, "don't get your frock all rufffled."  
In an instant, Giovanni was transformed into a mecha-bot. His size multiplied to a hundred, and his eyes glowed an evil red hue.  
"AHH!!" Giovanni said, in a booming tone. "This is more like it! Now... I'm invincible!"  
All the Pokémon trainers in the area approached him, and they were followed by Mario, Link, DK, Cranky, Klump, Tiff, Tuff, Dedede, and Escargoon. Kirby walked around them, still speaking in Earl-speak. "Introlow myself to alduce me. Take the body, Earltablets."  
Gary pointed his index finger up. "If you're trying to scare me..."  
Giovanni threw his fists out.  
"...YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB!!" Gary screamed in terror. He turned the ignition key in his car, and off he zoomed to Dome City.  
Meowth, Jessie, James, and the Rocket Inquisition walked up to Giovanni.  
"Hey Boss!" Meowth called. "How about letting us come along for da ride?"  
Giovanni picked the six members of Team Rocket up and roared in their faces. "No way!! Now that I'm the new mondo, maximus, _Mega-Giovanni!_ I don't need you any longer!" He then threw them as hard as he could into the sky.  
"LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET AND THE ROCKET INQUISITION ARE BLASTING OFF AGAINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!" Meowth, Jessie, James, Butch, Cassidy, and Namba all screamed as they disappeared from sight with the "ding" sound effect.  
Mega-Giovanni let out a thunderous roar, which was then interrupted by Mother Brain.  
"Excuse me, sir," Mother Brain said, "but now that we've joined forces, how about we work together? You help me conquer the Palace of Power and take over VideoLand, and I help you capture Pikachu and complete your so-called MechaMew2. Deal?"  
"Deal, my ass!" Mega-Giovanni shouted.  
"Hey, watch yo' language, bub!" Mother Brain shouted.  
Mega-Giovanni picked up Team Brain and roared in their faces. "Giovanni works for _nobody!!!_" He then flung the three bad guys as hard as he could into the distance.  
"LOOKS LIKE THE LEAGUE OF DARKNESS IS BLASTING OFF AGAINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mother Brain, Eggplant Wizard, and King Hippo all screamed as they disappeared from sight with the "ding" sound effect.  
Mega-Giovanni turned around. "Now...... VideoLand is all _miiiiiiiiiiiiine!_"  
Suddenly, a missle hit the left shoulder of Mega-Giovanni. Down below, Ganon stood in his tank.  
"Oh no you don't!" the pig originally named Ganondorf yelled. "If anyone's taking over VideoLand, it won't be you! It'll be me, Ganon!"  
Mega-Giovanni squished Ganon and the tank underneath his foot, then walked off laughing maniacally.  
"We gotta stop Mega-Giovanni before he conquers all of VideoLand!" Mario shouted. "Who's with me?" He looked at Ash and Misty, who were kissing in a very sexy manner. He looked at DK, who was still threatening Klump. He looked at Link, who was chatting away with Brock. He looked at Tiff, who was still accusing Dedede and Escargoon of changing Kirby and Tuff. He looked at Meta Knight and his followers, who were pretty much the only ones interested in what he was saying. "All right, all of you who's not busy making love, threats, or accusations - let's go!"  
"But how do we stop that Mega-Boss?" Tuff asked. "We don't even know how to become mega ourselves."  
"I may know of a way," Meta Knight answered. "And it's in the form of a magical potion that can grant unlimited power and resurrect dead wizards. And I happen to know that it's at the Island Palace."  
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Mario said to the rest of them. "Let's scram to the Island Palace and steal the potion!"  
Later that day, Mega-Giovanni was stomping around Cappy Town.  
"This is one small step for me, one giant leap for Team Rocket!" Mega-Giovanni boomed, as he got ready to put his foot down on Restaurant Kawasaki.  
Suddenly, a news bulletin appeared, with a giant computer-generated "TMNT" logo.  
"We interrupt this fanfic," an announcer said, "to bring you this FoxBox Totally Made-Up News Team News Fake. And now here's I.M. Fibbing with the latest."  
Mr. Fibbing began his broadcast. "It seems we've found out more information on these green monsters described by the recently-arrested Purple Dragon gang. They..."  
Mega-Giovanni plucked Fibbing up from his seat and roared, "Forget it! I already know your News Fakes are just advertisements for the new Ninja Turtles cartoon. Now, don't interrupt me!" He flung Fibbing into the air.  
"LOOKS LIKE THE FOXBOX T.M.N.T. IS BLASTING OFF AGAINNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!" Fibbing screamed as he disappeared from sight with the "ding" sound effect.  
Mega-Giovanni turned around. "Now where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Ah yes, I was about to stomp on Restaurant Kawasaki!" He was about to put his foot down on it again, when...  
"Not so fast, Giovanni!" Mario came leaping over the buildings and jumped on him.  
"Aach!" Mega-Giovanni stepped back. "It's the plumber named Mario... and he's as big as me!"  
"Like it? I chugged down the Potion of Power, and now I'm gonna take you down!"  
So the two men began a big Godzilla VS King Kong-style fight. Down below, Link, Ash, Misty, Brock, Tiff, Tuff, Meta Knight, King Dedede, and Escargoon watched, while Kirby walked around them, still talking in Earl-speak.  
"I don't know about this," Tiff reasoned. "Mega-Mario may save Cappy Town from Mega-Giovanni, but he'd better do it soon or there isn't going to be a Cappy Town left."  
"Alself me to introlow my body!" Kirby squealed.  
"Wait! I have an idea!" Tiff turned to the marshmallow. "Kirby, suck up that Mega-Giovanni!"  
"No!" Meta Knight warned. "That will not work. Mega-Giovanni is much too big for Kirby to suck up. In fact, everything you tell Kirby to suck up is too big for him to suck up. But perhaps I can be of assistance."  
Meta Knight ran up and lept up onto the back of Mega-Giovanni. Using his sword, he ripped off a bit of Mega-Giovanni's frock, revealing a battery. He stabbed the battery, and immediately Mega-Giovanni went critical.  
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mega-Giovanni screamed, and then he exploded. When the explosion cleared away, Mega-Giovanni was no more. At least, the Mega- was no more. Giovanni, now back in normal size, laid down there on the ground, extremely battered. He got back up, groaning as he did so. "Crap! You meddling heroes have foiled my evil plans."  
Meta Knight jumped in front of the good guys. "Well, as Mario would say, 'that is the way the meatball bounces'." He looked up at Mario. "Thanks for distracting Giovanni."  
"No problem," Mario boomed. "So how long is it till the Potion wears off?"  
"About one more minute, I guess," Link answered.  
"Hold on," Tuff said. "Isn't this the point where the villain goes home, vowing to fight another day?"  
Giovanni pointed his bruised index finger at him. "You're right. As soon as I find a warp zone, I'm out of here!" He ran around, trying to find a warp zone.  
"Wait a minute!" Tiff shouted. "This adventure's not a done deal yet! I still don't know why Kirby turned cannibal or why Tuff's become an archer!"  
Meta Knight gave the answer. "Well, Kirby sucking up people is just natural for him. He sometimes has to inhale enemies in order to get their power. As for Tuff, I can't quite figure that out."  
"Aw, I just wanna be an archer when I grow up," Tuff answered.  
Link advanced on Misty. "Hey there, missy. I took part in this adventure! How about a smooch right here, so I can make my girlfriend Zelda jealous?"  
Misty slapped Link down. "Forget it, green man! I already said I'm engaged!"  
Link picked himself up. "Well, _excuuuuuuuuuuuse_ me!"  
"Hold on," Mario said. "There's one forgotten plot point that's been bothering me since the beginning of this yarn..."  
"Not so fast!" Giovanni stopped him. "I couldn't find any warps around here, but I have this - a Sub-Space Potion. So long, suckers! As the old saying goes, 'He who steals and runs away lives to steal another day!"  
Giovanni was preparing to throw the Sub-Space Potion when suddenly, a warp opened up above him. Out of the warp tumbled Bowser, with Luigi, Peach, and Toad still grabbing onto his back. The four of them landed right on top of Giovanni, squashing his attempt to escape.  
"Ha-ha!" Luigi laughed. "I told you we weren't going to let you get away this time, Koopa!"  
"Hey look!" Toad shouted. "Dere's Mario! An' he's gigantic!"  
Princess Peach stood on top of the defeated bad guys. "Mario, what's been going on here?"  
Mario's size shrunk back down to normal, as the Potion of Power was wearing off on him. He looked at the other characters behind him. Ash and Misty were kissing sexually again, and Pikachu and Togepi were wondering why they barely had any role in this story. Brock was asking Link how to get a girlfriend, and DK was chatting away with Klump. Dedede and Escargoon were making Tiff apologize for accusing them of the strange things on Kirby and Tuff. Kirby walked around, still talking in Earl-speak as Meta Knight watched.  
"Believe me," Mario faced his teammates, "it all started with a pig in a tank!"  
Everybody except Bowser and Giovanni laughed at the incredibly stupid joke.  
"Cut, cut!" a voice called from Mr. Curio's Antique Shop. There, in a director's chair, sat DK's human childhood friend, Bones, wearing a director's beret. "That won't do at all. That stupid laugh track has _got_ to go!"  
"Well, don't blame us," Mario said, referring to him, Luigi, Peach, and Toad. "It's what we're used to doing at the end of our cartoons!"  
Then the group laughed heartedly again.  
Bones let out a groan. "Hhhhhh, I fear this TV special may be harder to direct than I thought."  
"Alarea me to bodyduce tabletself!" Kirby chirped.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what did you think? If you don't think this was crazy, you don't need to tell me. And anonymous flames will be extinguished.


End file.
